Conversation recorded October 2024
"That's just how law works" is one of the most expensive sentences in the profession. It keeps brilliant people grinding, and it keeps firms losing them.
In conversation with Helen Pamely. Helen started her legal career at a Magic Circle firm in the City of London and went on to make partner at a City firm. Along the way she retrained as a psychotherapist and then as a coach. She now coaches associates, partners and law firm owners, and is one of the most outspoken voices on legal culture on LinkedIn.
Know the game you're playing
Helen's first point is uncomfortable and useful. Law, especially elite law, is deeply political. Who you're aligned with, which matters you're on and how you get noticed all shape your career. People who don't see the game burn out working hard on the wrong things.
"If you don't know the game you're playing, how on earth are you going to come out on top?" Helen Pamely
Her advice: build your emotional intelligence fast, and put yourself somewhere you can thrive. That means somewhere your work is recognised by the people who hold power.
Boundaries didn't slow her down
Helen's own story breaks the usual rules. While studying for a psychotherapy master's, she worked three days a week at the firm where she later made partner. Because she had let go of the impostor syndrome and the idea of what a lawyer "should" look like, she was focused and boundaried, and she rose quickly. Her point isn't that this works everywhere. It's that the long-hours rulebook is less fixed than people think, in the right culture. And when partnership came, she shared something she'd never said publicly: she never drank the champagne. Partnership had never been her dream, and she knew it.
The pressure isn't only coming from the firm
Law attracts perfectionists, people pleasers and high achievers who've been on a track since school, then puts them in competition with each other. Helen has seen people with every option to go home, or go to that class, choose not to because of the pressure they put on themselves. Culture and personality feed each other.
"People hurt people." Helen Pamely, on the bullying and toxic leadership she hears about from lawyers every week
Change is coming, whether firms lead it or not
Helen sees two forces reshaping the profession. A new generation is refusing to sacrifice their mental health for the job. And AI is set to flatten the traditional pyramid, taking away much of the junior grunt work and pushing lawyers back towards being trusted advisers. If the billable hour fades, lawyers start being valued for what they produce rather than every six minutes they record.
"It's going to remove the pyramid." Helen Pamely, on what AI will do to law firm structures
Petra's take
What struck me is how much of this is about habit, not law itself. Firms run on rhythms built for a different era, before email and before being online around the clock. Rules alone won't fix it. You can't legislate for psychological safety. It comes from leaders who have honest conversations, model boundaries themselves and treat sustainable performance as a business advantage. The firms that do this now will win the talent battle as the next generation steps up.
Three things to try this week
Make the unwritten rules visible. Tell your associates honestly what partnership takes at your firm, and what it doesn't.
Model one boundary out loud, whether that's a protected evening or a day off that stays off, so your team sees it's allowed.
Ask your team where their hours go, and which tasks AI or better process could take away, so their time goes on advice clients value.
Bring this to your team: explore our Leadership training
Watch the full conversation on YouTube
Related insights: High Performance Culture · Work-Life Balance Is a Lie
About the author. Petra Velzeboer is a psychotherapist, keynote speaker and author of Begin With You and Digital Wellbeing. She works with leaders and People teams to build healthy cultures where people perform at their best.