Conversation recorded October 2023
You can love your job and still feel sick on a Sunday night. That sinking feeling isn't a sign your people are ungrateful or weak. It's data, and most organisations are ignoring it.
In conversation with Kirsten Furber. At the time of recording, Kirsten was People Director at Channel 4, after senior people roles at BBC Worldwide, Canal+, 20th Century Fox and Discovery. She is a non-executive director of British Wheelchair Basketball and has been researching the causes of the Sunday night blues with the University of Exeter.
You don't have to hate your job to dread Monday
The early research surprised us both. The Sunday night blues aren't only for people stuck in the wrong job. They hit people who are thriving too, because a full week of meaningful work can still feel overwhelming from the sofa on Sunday evening. For anyone in a people role, add the firefighting and the emotional labour of supporting others.
"Even if you love your job, you might get that feeling." Kirsten Furber
Sunday night is an early warning system
Kirsten's idea is simple and powerful: treat the Sunday night blues as an indicator. If someone scores their Sunday night an 8 out of 10 for six weeks running, that's a red flag worth a conversation. It might be burnout. It might be someone in a role that drains them rather than fills them up. Either way, you've caught it before their body or mental health gives way.
"The Sunday night blues could be a very, very powerful tool for individuals, leaders and organisations." Kirsten Furber
And unlike "mental health" or "burnout", which many people still don't have the language for, everyone knows what a bad Sunday night feels like. It's an easy door into a harder conversation.
Small rituals change the week
None of the fixes are complicated. Some people find a Friday list of next week's priorities gives them back a sense of control. Others hate a 9am Monday team meeting, because they need time to land, while some love it as a kick start. The point is to ask rather than assume.
Kirsten starts every weekly meeting with her direct reports by asking: are you red, amber or green? No explanation needed. As the leader, she gets an instant read of the room, and she goes first, including on the days she's red.
"It takes a few rounds." Kirsten Furber, on getting her team comfortable with the check-in
Culture lives in your four or five closest colleagues
Culture isn't the values on a PowerPoint. For most of us, it's the four or five people we work with most closely, and the habits we build together. That means you don't have to wait for permission. Ask what's expected. Ask if it's OK to leave at five. If the answer is no, that's information too.
"It's not about waiting to be told how it's going to be. It's about creating it." Kirsten Furber
Petra's take
Growing up in a cult taught me how quickly groups stop questioning what's normal. In workplaces it looks like everyone staying online because everyone else is, and nobody checking whether that's actually expected. The Sunday night blues are often the body noticing what the culture has stopped saying out loud. Leaders who treat it as a signal, not a weakness, get to fix things early. That's the fence at the top of the cliff, not the hospital at the bottom. And it starts with a leader brave enough to say "I'm red today" first.
Three things to try this week
End Friday with a three-line list of what matters most next week, so Monday starts with control rather than dread.
Ask your team when they want the Monday meeting, and move it if 9am is costing you their best thinking.
Open your next team meeting with red, amber or green, and go first.
Bring this to your team: explore our All Staff training
Watch the full conversation on YouTube
Related insights: Burnout Isn't Being Run Down · Work-Life Balance Is a Lie
About the author. Petra Velzeboer is a psychotherapist, keynote speaker and author of Begin With You and Digital Wellbeing. She works with leaders and People teams to build healthy cultures where people perform at their best.